You
may not understand much when you are hurting and the pain of loss is
ripping through your soul, but know and hold on to this one truth: God
loves you, and He has a future for you. Hope in Him and trust Him to
turn your mourning into JOY.
Roughly six weeks ago, my family changed. My (maternal) grandma had a stroke. This stroke made it difficult for her to walk, eat, and eventually talk. She was so active until this stroke, she drove anywhere and was even a caregiver for a 99-year-old man, two days a week! Kevin and I visited her in the hospital, and at the time, she was talking to us, leaving us much hope for her recovery. Unfortunately, the stroke(s) continued and she had to be moved to a nursing home. A nursing home...the last place my grandma EVER wanted to live. She talked about NOT wanting to ever live in a nursing home. And there she was...in a reclined wheelchair, not being able to move her body like it once had moved, or talk to her loved ones who she loved so very much.
I knew I didn't want to take our girls to see her in this state. God opened the door up for Kevin and I to visit her last Friday, (writing this on Monday) and I am so glad we did. We no more than arrived at the nursing home and it was time for her physical therapy. We decided to go with her to therapy, I talked to her quite a bit at first, only finding a glazed look back at me. Kevin suggested I take her hand and kneel down to her...as I talked and held her hand, the biggest smile came from her. She recognized me! It was like a baby recognizing his mommy for the first time. No words spoken, just a big smile! A priceless smile that brought tears to my eyes! She could hear us, we knew, but for her to respond was so exciting. When we left the nursing home that day, I told Kevin that I would be praying for God to take her out of this state. No matter what that meant...His will be done. Early this morning, that's exactly the answer to prayer I received. She has gone on to be with the Lord.
I learned a lot about grief and finding strength from my grandma. Two husbands, two male companions, and two children preceded her in death. I remember thinking to myself when Mike died, my grandma has been through this so many times, I can surely do it once. She loved her family more than life itself. The reunion with my grandma and my Aunt Kim (who died at the age of 26, 17 years ago in a car accident) in Heaven, makes me smile, just like the smile my grandma gave me last Friday.
