It's All Worth the Tears

Growth Through Tears

As announced in my previous post, I will be marrying an amazing man soon. He is a blessing only God could have provided. With this marriage comes a move for the girls and I. We have been preparing and packing lately and couldn't be more excited about this new JOurneY.

Today, I decided it was time to pack up my closet. I had already packed the girls' closets and now it was time to dig into my closet. I started with the obvious "stuff"...purses and shoes! Doesn't sound too bad right? Well, in the far back part of my closet was the "stuff" I was wanting to avoid...sympathy cards, funeral papers, and Mike's "death stuff"...honestly, it brought me to my knees in tears. I cried for about a half an hour, my four year old little girl bringing me numerous Kleenex and giving me many hugs. What really tore at my heart were the collages that the girls had made on the one year anniversary of Mike's death. They were so true to their daddy...all the things he liked and what I remembered about him most. After about 45 minutes of sobbing, praying, and screaming out to God, I sent Kevin a text at work, and called a great friend. I was struggling trying to figure out how I could have so many sad tears today, but yet, my life was so filled with JOY and happiness with so many wonderful beginnings. My friend encouraged me with comforting words and that's why I call her "mama"...she is more like a mom to me and I am so blessed to have her and know she will always be there for me. The text I received from Kevin read: It's completely okay to miss Mike. You two had a wonderful marriage. There's no shame in remembering him fondly. I'm not jealous of Mike. I'm not in competition with him. I love you so much, and am looking forward to our life together. KISS

This amazing text spoke right to my heart, although I knew all of this...I had to read it and feel it. I think it's so important for Kevin to understand the love and loss I had, and that's exactly what he does...understands completely! I will never compare the two loves of my life. I know God has blessed me more than I can ever thank Him for.

I am grateful for the tears today, they were healing beyond belief. The words spoke between Kevin and I were such a blessing...I AM TRULY BLESSED~

It's Time...

The Time Has Come to Live Again

It's been nearly two and a half years since Mike's accident and my girls and I have "grieved well" as my pastor called it. We have overcome the loss of daddy and continued our lives each and every day the way God has led us to do. Sometimes it was hard just to get through the hour, but God held us tight and got us where we are today, which leads me to this blog post....

My girls and I have prayed together for over a year for God to bless us with a special man and his family to be in our lives. We were so ready to embrace the next step of this life...we had faith that God had plans for us and we were looking forward to seeing and believing in His plans. God brought Kevin, his daughter, and his entire family into our lives in such a way, I can't explain in words. They are such a blessing to my girls and I and we will be forever grateful for this blessing!

God has blessed me by being loved and adored by two men in my life and now He is giving me the opportunity to become Kevin's wife. Kevin and I will be getting married at the end of October. This blessing is an amazing testimony of God's faithfulness to us. We couldn't be happier in this new JOurneY and we all are looking forward to starting our lives together...the 6 of us! Seeing my girls with a man they adore as much as he adores them...priceless. Mike was a great dad and they have missed the relationship between a father and a daughter these past two years, they have a great start at an incredible relationship with Kevin, one that only God could have sent. I am looking so forward to being in his daughter's life, she is an amazing girl who is on fire for God and honestly, our four girls act like they have been "sisters" all along!

Please continue to pray for us as we continue to find JOY IN OUR JOURNEY~

God's Calling, I'm Listening

God's Calling...

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.  Prov. 16:9

I thought my life was set and going great as "I" had planned, but as we all know, God had another plan for me. More than two years later, I can honestly say that I have embraced my new life, the one that God has laid down for me. Together we have moved mountains of fear, doubt, change, and spiritual growth. I wouldn't be the confident woman I am today without the Lord guiding and directing me and answering each prayer in His time and in His way.

I have prayed and prayed for months (maybe more like years) for God to "move" me in the direction He wanted me to go with my grief through His healing. I knew God had to be glorified in this tragedy and I am on a mission to do so. We need to realize that we don't live in a perfect world, but we do have a perfect God who we serve always and in times such as these.

In April, He blessed me with the opportunity to speak at a woman's conference at my church and share my story through my grief and how God truly heals. I have just finished facilitating a 13 week GriefShare support group at my church. God touched many lives in those 13 weeks, and I am forever grateful for His blessing of GriefShare.

I have been asked to lead a grief workshop at a women's conference in October in southern Illinois. This is one more blessing God has provided for me to share and spread His word of healing from grief. I am asking for all of you to add me to your prayers as I am preparing for the workshop now. I am constantly listening to His whispers throughout the day for the information to come from Him for me to share with these women. I know He has a plan and He will send the women who need to hear His message on overcoming grief. Thanks so much for all of your prayers as I continue to follow the Lord under His guidance and direction for my life.


Overcoming can be done, if we ask and believe...