Five years of my life is gone, done, over... since I last saw my husband. This is a huge milestone to be celebrating. Did I just say celebrate? Yes, I did. I am celebrating the fact that I have made it this far without him. Through God's love and grace, I am here...thriving. I am celebrating his entrance to Heaven as well, the most awesome sight. As I was left devastated, my dear husband was entering paradise.
Where has God been in the past five years?
Where was God as I stood at the side of my van on the interstate and screamed after getting the call? He was holding me in His loving arms.
Where was God as I looked into my three girls' eyes and told them their daddy had died and met Jesus?
He was giving me the strength to say the right words.
Where was God as I buried the man I loved and said "until death do us part" to?
He was there leading me through the burial decisions and comforting me in knowing we had a great marriage and lived with no regrets.
Where was God as I started a journey of single parenting?
He was their Father, and I had to learn to lean on God more throughout the day than ever before.
Where was God as I cried my heart out in the shower at night so the girls wouldn't hear or see me?
He was there catching every tear and speaking words of love to me.
Where was God when all of my friends had a spouse to hold them at night?
He was there, in my loneliness.
Where was God when I knew I wanted to become a wife again?
He sat right beside me as I filled out my online dating profile.
Where was God when I said, "until death do us part" for the second time in my life?
He was right there.
Never will He leave me.
Always by my side.