Grandparent's New Home

Home, Nursing Home, Eternal Home

Thursday marks one of the hardest days I have ever had to face. The day of Mike's accident was one, and the day we were told our daughter had a birth defect was another. But Thursday ranks right up there... As some of you know, I was raised by my grandparents. They are the most wonderful, caring, loving people you may ever meet. They raised me with such love from a Christian home. I am so blessed to have had this wonderful life with them.

My grandpa has been struggling with a debilitating lung disease for some time now, and my grandma has had years of back pain due to crushed vertebrae. For several weeks now, Grandma has been taking care of Grandpa. It's her favorite job, "taking care of others". When Mike died, she pretty much moved in with the girls and I and "took care of us". Not to mention, all the years of raising me and caring for others along the way. A few weeks ago, she started having much more pain than ever before and was unable to take care of Grandpa. She was admitted to the hospital for pain control and rehabilitation. Then, the next day, Grandpa was admitted to the same hosptial with extreme breathing problems.

Within three days, our world was rocked. My dad, my husband and I were moving them into two seperate nursing homes. The sight of seeing them in the hospital saying "goodbye" to one another...after 61 years of marriage and not knowing what was next, was gut wrenching. They cried, and off we went with Grandpa, round 1 for the long day...we walked the long hallway joining the hospital to the nursing home with two nurses. When we arrived at Grandpa's new "home", my stomach was in knots. They had worked their entire life and lived in a house that Grandpa had built years ago...and walked into a nursing home with 1 bag of clothes. Really, this is what his life is going to be like now? Sharing a room with a stranger and the bare minimum of essentials. My grandma got moved later the same day.

On our way to move them, I said to my husband, "I feel like someone died." It was the "hole in my stomach" feeling...it wasn't because "someone" had died, but because "something" had died. Our past together had died, and although they are still here with me, our past won't ever be the same. Going to their house, the girls helping Grandma in the kitchen, playing cards with Papa, and just the wonderful memories we have made with them. But, the great news is this: no one can ever take away our memories, and we will always have the most wonderful memories of them from years past as well as each day we are blessed to have them here with us.

This whole past week has been a blur of emotion and heartache. These are the people that raised me and loved me unconditionally my entire life. I so wanted to bring them here to our home and care for them, but I realize I am not a nurse and can't care for their needs. This life lesson puts "things" into perspective once again, as they were when Mike died. "Things" don't matter, it's the loved ones in our lives that matter. This isn't about the house and belongings they left behind, it's about their well being and love they are given. I love these two people more than any of you will ever know, and I pray for God to reunite them soon...either at the same nursing home, back at their home, or in Heaven...their eternal home.

Ornaments Speak

Ornaments Speak

 

As we discussed "whose" Christmas tree was going where with "what" decorations on it...we decided to put up only ONE tree with BOTH of our decorations on it! It's a classic...it's a tree where Hallmark Keepsake ornaments such as The Beatles, The Muppets, Tinkerbell, and Star Trek meet the sweet handmade school ornaments the girls have made from years past and more "traditional" looking ornaments. It's a tree where two families truly have collided...just as WE truly HAVE!

The main reason for this blog post is to share with you a story that is almost unbelievable...only one God could have done! The Sunday night we all were decorating the Christmas tree, I was sitting on the floor going through the Rubbermaid tub handing the girls and Kevin the ornaments to put on the tree. I grabbed the next ornament and to my surprise, it was an ornament I had had for almost 17 years...it was crystal wedding bells. An ornament Mike and I had been given as a wedding gift. (Our anniversary is on December 9th.) I instantly felt the grief sneaking up on me. This was about 2 weeks before our anniversary and I had "thought" about it coming, but not REALLY "thought" about it, until seeing the crystal wedding bells in my hand. I quietly excused myself to the restroom and cried for several minutes. I returned to the rest of my family with love and laughter, but I still felt...grief. The VERY next ornament I unwrapped was...an ornament that read, "Our First Christmas Together 1995". That's when I lost it and my entire family stopped what they were doing...Kevin asked me what was wrong and I showed them all the two ornaments. Everyone was very supportive and we kept going...and decorating. The VERY next ornament I came to was one I had forgot I had, yet, I feel it was God's words..."JOY" (2010). Yes, it was an ornament with JOY spelled out and the date 2010 on it! I didn't even care about the word JOY in 2010, but Mike died in 2010 and I have since found great JOY from our sweet Jesus! I knew when I saw that third ornament with JOY on it, God had been there "unwrapping" the ornaments with me and healing my heart....preparing me for another anniversary to celebrate of the 17 years of marriage we would of had, but only were together for 14 of them.

After the tree was done and the girls were all busy getting ready for bed, my precious husband hugged me and said, "there is nothing wrong with missing Mike." "Just because I am here and married to you doesn't mean you don't miss him."...I cried once again. Kevin and I "celebrated" on December 9th...we had a lovely day together, just the two of us, knowing there was really three of us "celebrating"...

Busy, But Back

Busy, But Back...

So much has happened in the past 6 weeks of my life, but blogging has not been one of them. I have missed it so much and I hope to be back now on a more constant basis.

As many of you know on October 26th, Kevin and I married! We exchanged vows in a private, intimate ceremony at the church Kevin and his family have attended for several years. Now, we all attend there...and, my best words to describe it are..."it's the best kept secret in town." The Holy Spirit is alive and moving there and we all love worshiping together as a family. See, we not only get to enjoy sitting with family every Sunday worshiping, but we are blessed enough to spend time with Kevin's parents and his sister and her family for lunch after church at his parent's house. This time together is a lost tradition for many families, but one we love and look forward to every week. We catch up with one another and eat a delicious meal! Being an only child, I LOVE having an extended family that is so close. They have only showed me and my girls love and then...more love! I could not have ever hand picked a better family to marry into. I thank God for them everyday!

We wanted a small wedding, but it didn't lack in the awesomeness of a man and woman becoming one. Our vows were so powerful, we served one another communion, and as a HUGE surprise to me.....KEVIN HAD WROTE A SONG FOR ME! He sang and played his guitar...yes, I cried! The lyrics of the song were amazing...I hope to post it on here sometime. (I should ask the musician if it's ok, though!)

After a wonderful dinner with our wedding guests, we enjoyed one another for a weekend away. As we drove to come back home, I was sad to be leaving our "honeymoon", yet, so very much excited to be starting our lives with our four daughters! And, that's exactly what it has been....exciting! These four girls love being together and have become the best of friends! It's so much fun to see them and see the bond that is/has formed.

We are all adjusting to the different schedules and routines that were already in place. The girls LOVE their new schools, teachers, and new friends. God shows up all the time, and continues to lead us and show us His way. I never thought I would move from my hometown, but I couldn't be happier where I am today. This move has made me realize that no matter where I live, God will be there too. This house feels like "home", it's not the structure of a home, but the family inside that makes it a "home".