Growth Through Tears
Today, I decided it was time to pack up my closet. I had already packed the girls' closets and now it was time to dig into my closet. I started with the obvious "stuff"...purses and shoes! Doesn't sound too bad right? Well, in the far back part of my closet was the "stuff" I was wanting to avoid...sympathy cards, funeral papers, and Mike's "death stuff"...honestly, it brought me to my knees in tears. I cried for about a half an hour, my four year old little girl bringing me numerous Kleenex and giving me many hugs. What really tore at my heart were the collages that the girls had made on the one year anniversary of Mike's death. They were so true to their daddy...all the things he liked and what I remembered about him most. After about 45 minutes of sobbing, praying, and screaming out to God, I sent Kevin a text at work, and called a great friend. I was struggling trying to figure out how I could have so many sad tears today, but yet, my life was so filled with JOY and happiness with so many wonderful beginnings. My friend encouraged me with comforting words and that's why I call her "mama"...she is more like a mom to me and I am so blessed to have her and know she will always be there for me. The text I received from Kevin read: It's completely okay to miss Mike. You two had a wonderful marriage. There's no shame in remembering him fondly. I'm not jealous of Mike. I'm not in competition with him. I love you so much, and am looking forward to our life together. KISS
This amazing text spoke right to my heart, although I knew all of this...I had to read it and feel it. I think it's so important for Kevin to understand the love and loss I had, and that's exactly what he does...understands completely! I will never compare the two loves of my life. I know God has blessed me more than I can ever thank Him for.
I am grateful for the tears today, they were healing beyond belief. The words spoke between Kevin and I were such a blessing...I AM TRULY BLESSED~
Praise to the Lord Jesus, who is the Man of Sorrows, yet always rejoices for the victory we have in Him! You are blessed indeed, Carrie, and I'm so happy for you!
ReplyDeleteAwesome!!
DeleteCarrie,
ReplyDeleteI am so happy that the Lord has brought a wonderful caring and understanding man into your life. His words must mean so much to you.You are truly blessed. A widow friend of our family is getting married (after 30 years!) and my 17 year old daughter made the comment to me that 'one cannot marry again because you cannot love someone else.' I tried to explain to her. I thought what Kevin said was special.
Karen,
ReplyDeleteGod has truly blessed me beyond measure. I know for a fact, love does come again and to marry again is an amazing opportunity. Your daughter will understand one day when and if you choose to marry again and she's a little older to see you happy.