Where to sit in church?
I have always been a faithful person and attending church all my life is what I grew up doing. Mike, the girls, and I had recently (about 6 months before his death) started to attend a different church and were loving it very much. The congregation embraced us from the start. The day of Mike's accident, the pastor was on this way up north for a family vacation and when he got the call, they turned around and headed home, cancelling their trip to be with us. That is the kind of love we were shown weekly! I so much appreciated that gesture of kindness. As the weeks of returning to church after his death became more and more difficult, I wondered what in the world could be wrong with me. My faith was growing by the day, I loved the Lord, I didn't have any anger toward anyone...I was struggling with going to church. I went alone, I took the girls with me, we sat in different places around the church, nothing seemed to help. I was miserable sitting in church listening to the sermons and singing praises, but couldn't figure out why. I would go on Sunday morning to our church and then on Sunday nights with my aunt to her church and there I would feel like "I was being filled". This was what I needed, wanted, and always had had in the past. So, one day when pastor came to visit me, I explained my struggle and how I didn't understand how my faith could be growing and I felt God so close to me, but why was "going to church" so difficult. He had the answer immediately, he explained that when you are in church with your spouse, you are side by side worshiping and praising the Lord....it's a very intimate time in our week. He told me that only 10% of widows stay at their previous church once their husband passes away. This all made such sense to me. I got it! When we are at home, we are room to room and so on, but in church...it is intimate and worship is such a special time. I felt so much better discussing this with him and realizing that I wasn't going "crazy" in not wanting to go to church and wondering as I walked in there where I would sit and "be comfortable"...
My girls and I have since left that church (pastor retired and some other issues lead us to leave). Just two weeks ago, we joined our new church family. It was a great feeling to join "our" church...it was a big step because now that I am the spiritual leader of our home it was up to me. God lead me every step of the way. I can sit anywhere and feel comfortable and know that God has lead us to our new church home for some major growth and healing~
thank you for your insight on church when we've lost our husband and what to do. i have felt that way for most of the 19 months since craig died - its been so hard to go along and worship our Lord, yet i've made myself go most weeks so the kids can get to church. my boys won't go if i don't go. i felt alone with this whole church thing, but not now. thank you Carrie.
ReplyDeleteMy pain of "where to sit" was worth every bit of it when I read your comment. We are not alone. Pray for God to give you comfort where you are attending now, or to open doors and lead you where you all could grow in a church. We LOVE going to church once again~
DeleteSO glad I found this. I thought it was just me that felt this. Last Sunday I left our CHurch of 30+ years. The place we were married and so active in, the place we raised our children.
ReplyDeleteThe church I joined seems so alive and for the 1st time in a long time I want to go to church.
Good for you! I really think it's part of our healing to "suffer" through this before we can move on and sort our true feelings about staying/leaving a church. We don't have our spouse to help with that decision, but God will lead us where we are growing in our relationship with Christ and that's the MOST important, not "where" we are attending. Hope you are finding JOY in you JOurneY~
DeleteWhat a timely post! I have struggled with this for the last four years. We had just joined my current church after the church we were in for 20+ years dissolved. My husband sought God for a church where he could settle his family. After attending for 4 months he and my son was in agreement this was where God wanted us. We joined the last Sunday in January 2011 and he went home March 2011. My son has since married and moved on to his wife's church. I have stayed because this is where he said God wanted "us" (me). The members and pastors have covered me and allowed me to rest in the presence of God, but there are times when I feel lost and out of sync. Thanks so much for sharing this on the Widow's Christian Place Blog. I realize now, this is just a part of my new journey. ...."Whoosh" and then there was silence.....moving forward...the journey continues
ReplyDeleteI too have felt that way. Living in a very rural area, I do not have many options for different churches. That is ok, my Creator will send me where I need to go at the right time in my life.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the post.